Think you never learned anything from a teacher? Well, Natassia Malthe’s dad is one, and who wouldn’t want to study this dark-haired beauty? The half-Norwegian, half-Malaysian professional model has a body made for perverted attention. Sometime credited as “Lina Teal”, Natassia grew up in Scotland and Norway, but it was in Canada that she entered the business and, in so doing, our hearts. Her early boob-tube work came in some well known movies like Lake Placid (1999) and Me, Myself & Irene (2000) but we couldn’t bate to her in the one about a gator, or pleasure ourselves to the me and myself movie, so it was her later work that we found far more intriguing. We finally got a glimpse when she made her nude debut in Stark Raving Mad (2002). Natassia pulled up her skirt for a butt-iful view of her rear end when she flashes Sean William Scott. She followed that up with another ass-mazing shot of, unfortunately, someone else’s tush in 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), as she used a body double. Thankfully that didn’t become a habit, and she continued to briefly flash her finery in Wish You Were Here (2005), before kissing Jennifer Garner (for which scored her an MTV Movie Awards “Best Kiss” nomination) in the critically panned Daredevil (2003) spinoff Elektra (2005). But with her high cheekbones and dark, foreboding eyes the lady from Oslo was always destined for horror greatness. Soon after locking lips with Jenna Rink herself, she starred in Devil’s Highway (2005) a movie about demons jumping into people’s bodies. They say idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Luckily, our hands (well, one of them at least) were plenty busy seeing NatASSia flash a little buttcrack attack while climbing a fence, and slipping a little nip while her boyfriend pushed her against a wall. After keeping her undies on in Skinwalkers (2006), Natassia gets in a fight while topless in Chaos (2006), and we can see that milk udders make the best shakes when they’ve been Malthed. There’s a nice shot of her rump and pumps in Slave (2009) during a slow and sensual, although often too zoomed in, sex scene. But Natassia’s most famous role came when she had women’s panties soaked like they’d been caught in a downpour, as Rayne in the Bloodrayne (2005) sequels. While Kristanna Loken played the redheaded vampire in the OG BloodRayne (2005), Natassia took over for both the wild west set BloodRayne 2: Deliverance (2007) and the WW2 era BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2011). While Uwe Boll films are legendarily bad, they can’t be that bad when Natassia gets her bare backside oiled up by a busty women in a corset, has fully naked lesbian vampire sex with Dora Lipovcan and Davorka Tovilo, and spreads her legs to get railed on a moving train. Maybe the CGI wasn’t great and the writing was subpar, but those movies sure had our blood pumping! Natassia hasn’t been giving us the same amount of nudity lately while starring in movies like Assault on Wall Street (2013) and the first domesticated dog ever movie, Alpha (2018). When it comes to onscreen lady bloodsucker sexiness, with all due respect to Kate Beckinsale and Kristen Stewart, Natassia is the alpha.
